Many people feel they can’t change themselves or that doing so is fake. Here is a quick exercise to show you how easily you can change yourself because you do it already.

Step 1

First answer the question “Who are you?” by describing yourself with three or four adjectives.
I know you’re just reading a web page, but if you have pen and paper or can open a window on your computer to write in, write a few adjectives that describe you before going to the next step. No one will hold you to them, so you don’t have to pick the best ones. Just a few.

Step 2

Now imagine yourself in a job interview and answer the same question. Write a few adjectives you might describe yourself with to an interviewer for a job you wanted.
Did you pick the same adjectives or did some change?

Step 3

Now imagine you’ve just met someone you are very attracted to and answer the same question. Write a few adjectives you might describe yourself with to someone you were attracted to and wanted to attract.
Again, did you pick the same adjectives or did some change?

Step 4

Now imagine yourself talking to your parents and answer the same question. Write a few adjectives you might describe yourself with to your parents.
Again, did you pick the same adjectives or did some change?

The point?

Everyone who has done this exercise changed at least one adjective.
The passive lesson you can learn from this exercise is that you already have different beliefs about yourself — that is, different identities. You change how you present yourself to different people. From their perspective, you change who you are.
This lesson lowers the barrier for changing yourself.
The active lesson you can learn is that if you change yourself for others already, you can change your own perception of yourself.
You can change your identity to yourself right now.