Overview of Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — six key concepts of this web page

Today I'll give an overview of the series I just finished on understanding the six key concepts of this web page:  leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion. What is value? What are values? What is value? What are values? (short version) Understanding others’ value and their values What is meaning? How do I create more meaning in my life? What is purpose? How do I create more purpose in my life? Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — Interlude on writing on emotions and emotional awareness so much What is importance? What makes something important? How do I have…

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What is leadership?

Next on the list of concepts under my name at the top of this page is leadership. See earlier posts for values, meaning, purpose, importance, and passion. Unlike the other concepts, leadership intrinsically involves other people. At first that complexity makes it seem harder to understand, but I think it gets simpler in the end. I start my "Leadership through emotional intelligence and self-awareness" seminars by asking what leadership is, following how my core Leadership course began at Columbia Business School. Since understanding an apparently broad concept like leadership on its own can be hard Columbia's course talks about "six…

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What is importance? What makes something important? How do I have more important things in my life and less junk?

Next on the list of concepts under my name at the top of this page is importance. See earlier posts for values, meaning, and purpose. For something to be important, it has to change your life. If something doesn't affect your life, it's hard to call it important. And something changing your life means you do something different than you would have done otherwise. In other words, something important changes your motivations -- it motivates you. In other words, it affects your emotions. As with values, meaning, and purpose, if you want to understand something's importance to you, understand how…

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Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — Interlude on writing on emotions and emotional awareness so much

You've probably noticed I'm writing a series of posts on the main themes of this blog -- the words under my name at the top: leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, and passion. If you’ve gotten the idea now that I’m relating these concepts back to knowing your emotions and emotional system, I’m glad. I thought I'd take a post to explain why. The vagueness people throw terms around with makes it hard to work with them. When the terms in question are values, meaning, purpose, importance, leadership, and passion -- well, those aren't things you just vaguely want to hope…

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Vince Lombardi: What It Takes to be Number One

After a couple posts on sports, I'm putting up one of the great sports coaching quotes, by Vince Lombardi. According to Wikipedia Vincent Thomas "Vince" Lombardi (June 11, 1913 – September 3, 1970) was an American football coach. He is best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s, where he led the team to three straight league championships and five in seven years, including winning the first two Super Bowls following the 1966 and 1967 NFL seasons. The National Football League's Super Bowl trophy is named in his honor. He was enshrined in the NFL's…

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Petty pathetic censorship

For Want of a Nail For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail. A nail While the Chinese government blocks many U.S.-based video sites, like YouTube, they not only have plenty of copy-cat sites but with a few clicks you can find many full feature-length…

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Schopenhauer on the consistency and reliability of our emotional systems

I haven't read anything by Arthur Schopenhauer and hardly know anything about him, but I agree with this quote from him: Mensch kann tun was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will. One can choose what to do, but not what to want. People contrast emotions with reason, see they differ, and conclude emotions are irrational, unpredictable, and follow no system. I agree they are hard to predict in others whose environments, belief, and behaviors we don't know, but that doesn't mean our emotions aren't systematic. I, like Shopenhauer, it seems, see the human emotional system as…

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Overcoming Objections and Blocks overview and table of contents

Here is an overview of my recent section on Objections and Blocks with links to all the articles. If you haven't already, I hope they help you learn to look forward to objections and blocks as signs of progress, that your project is significant, and as guidance for how to proceed. As I began the series Whether you want to lead or motivate others or yourself, deciding to lead means you will face objections and blocks. Whether from members of your team or from your anxieties and fears, objections and blocks are similar, as are their solutions. For the next…

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Overcoming objections exercise

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I love covering objections and blocks in my seminar. More than any other, that section results in people applying the seminar's contents to their lives and solving their problems. They change their mode from digesting and evaluating the information to using and applying it. I love to see how quickly what seemed like abstract information suddenly…

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Common objection 11: Other people tell me not to

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection Other people tell me not to. We all defer judgment to someone. Sometimes others know better. Not always. Sometimes we feel pressure from peers, family, society, bosses, etc. Example Parents are the big ones who advise their children to what the parents' think best, which may or may not coincide with what their children think…

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Common objection 10: I’m good at something else

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection This objection sounds so weird when you say it abstractly you can't imagine people succumbing to it. When they say it less abstractly you can understand why it holds people back, but also that they should be able to get past it. In the abstract: I excel in another area so I can't in this…

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Common objection 9: I’m too busy. I have other priorities.

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection Some people want to take on new projects or change something in their lives but they have too many other things. I'm too busy. I have too many other priorities. For this obstacle, I'll mention that your other priorities may be more important. Only you know. Example Examples are too numerous to mention. We all…

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Common objection 8: But it’s embarrassing or it makes me anxious

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection Yesterday I posted how fear of feeling fake after changing holds people back. Today I'll note how some people don't start because they feel embarrassed or anxious now. But I'm embarrassed! I'm too nervous to even think about it! Many people prefer not to think about problem areas of their lives. Example The big one…

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Common objection 7: I’ll feel fake

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People worry that changing themselves will make themselves fake. It won't be the "real" them. My new beliefs will be fake. It won't be the real me. I'll be acting. Example As a coach I hear this all the time when someone changes even small things about themselves. People may feel fake from wearing different…

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Common objection 6: That’s just the way it is

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People think some things can't change. They say It's a fact. That's just the way it is. You have to accept that some things are just that way. Examples Bureaucrats consistently tell me how their process works, saying I can't do it any other way. They probably tell you the same thing. (I hope you,…

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Common objection 5: I have to take care of “real world” issues first

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People often say things like I have to take care of “real-world” issues like earning money first. or their bosses, parents, or teachers say things like You have to take care of "real-world" issues first, like getting a job or paying your bills. or they believe things other than “real-world” issues are indulgent. Or they…

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Common objection 4: I don’t know how to do it, I’m too introverted, I’m not smart enough, etc

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People often complain that the project they want to do requires skills or abilities they don't have: I don't know how to do it. I'm too introverted. I'm not smart enough. Example I hear people claim they can't perform plenty of business and social interactions because they just don't get along with people; they want…

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Common objection 3: I don’t have enough money/time/connections/etc

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People usually state this objection as I would do it but I don't have enough money. You need connections to do that and I don't have them. I would if only I had time. or some appeal to needing more of something external to them. Tomorrow I'll write about internal obstacles or blocks. Example Would-be…

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Common objection 2: I’m not good at X. I can’t do Y. I’m not a Z person

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People usually state this objection as a statement like these. I'm just not a leader. Leaders are born, not made and I wasn't born a leader. I've tried losing weight a million times. I'm just not a gym person. I'm no good at math. Example Too many to list. The above statements suggest a few.…

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Common objection 1: I want to understand the root of the problem before solving it

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection People usually state this objection with something like I want to understand the problem before acting. I want to get at the root first. If I don't, it will just happen again. You can also call this objection Analysis Paralysis since it leads people to analyze over acting. Again, some problems require analysis, but I…

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How to view objections and blocks as advantages

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Yesterday introduced obstacles and blocks as inevitable parts of leadership and personal development. It also suggested you can see them as advantages, or at least solving them as advantages. How do you train yourself to see problems as advantages? That's like the solution to all your problems, right? Once problems become fun, or at least rewarding…

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Overcoming objections and blocks in leadership and personal development: The overarching principles

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Whether you want to lead or motivate others or yourself, deciding to lead means you will face objections and blocks. Whether from members of your team or from your anxieties and fears, objections and blocks are similar, as are their solutions. For the next week or so, I'll cover a range of objections, blocks, and various…

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How to make yourself more confident

Is there anything you do that wouldn't benefit from having more confidence? Even if showing confidence doesn't make a difference, at least having the option to show it helps. Have you noticed that people with more confidence can't do that much more than people without it? They can't lift heavier weights or solve more difficult problems. The guy at the gym who lifts the heaviest weights probably isn't the most confident person there. Alternatively, you can lift weights all you want -- that alone won't make you more confident. So what does? A friend just wrote me that she didn't…

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You’re always emotional, not only when you’re angry or excited

People often look at someone acting with intense emotions -- like when they're excited, angry, enraged, passionate, etc -- and say that they are "emotional" at times like that. They misunderstand emotions. Understanding emotions is one of the most important parts of self-awareness and therefore leadership of yourself and others. Emotions motivate you. As long as you're awake you feel motivation. Everyone is always emotional all the time. Calmness is an emotion. Just because you aren't running around yelling or losing control doesn't mean you aren't feeling emotions. You could just as well call someone serenely under control and relaxing…

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Social challenges can be harder than technical

When I was younger and studied physics when I thought of the Egyptian pyramids I would wonder at how they overcame the engineering challenges -- how did they get the big rocks to the top, how did they measure the angles accurately enough, and so on. As I got older, worked in larger teams with more intricate teamwork, and led teams my sense of marvel shifted from overcoming engineering challenges to overcoming social challenges. Learning leadership and management while getting the MBA illuminated the challenges on the social side too. The engineering challenges, while big, I imagine I could solve…

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