Emotions, values, children, and school

At my niece's kindergarten graduation Friday the entire graduating class of four-and-five-year-olds sang a song with a chorus "I love America." The song was light-hearted and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. As a thoughtful person, I couldn't help think about what having a whole class sing the song meant. I enjoy playing with ideas and what better time to ponder education than at a graduation? I'll be the first to say the following is a tempest in a teacup. The interaction wasn't that big a deal, but this blog is about values and emotions, with the guiding principle that the…

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The CEO is the least hurried or reactive

Following up on yesterday's post about one aspect of behavior -- how much stuff you carry and how functional you are -- that correlates with importance is how calm or rushed you are. Likewise, how purposeful or reactive you are. People who know their priorities tend not to be rushed. They know what should be done in what order and they do it. So it's not surprising that people who know their priorities also get where they want to go in life. So people who are successful tend not to be as rushed. They're calmer because they know they're doing…

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The CEO carries the least

Important people do things differently than unimportant people -- that is, behavior correlates with importance. If you want people to consider you more important -- to trust and defer to you -- you should pick up on how behavior correlates with importance. And with unimportance if you want to avoid being lumped in with unimportant people. The more important you are, the less you carry. The following corporate examples are simplified to communicate easily, but see how they resonate with your experience. An engineer who is easily replaced often carries tons of stuff -- a big bag, sometimes so full…

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How to tell if someone is good at something

Two observations I've made about how good people are at things: People who aren't good at something talk about how awesome they are at it. People who are great at something talk about the humiliations and failures that got them good at it. I've found this pattern far more accurate than I would have expected. I love hearing stories from people about the disasters that made them who they are. That's how I know they're good at the thing at hand. They've gotten over their insecurity through experience and aren't afraid to share. People who are afraid to share tend…

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Leadership seminar at New York Academy of Sciences posted

The leadership development seminar I led in April at the New York Academy of Sciences has been posted as an e-briefing. Now you can see me speak where Einstein and Darwin did, or at least they were members. You have to be a member to see the video, but the academy has great events. I recommend joining. You do love science, don't you? Here's the overview of the e-briefing: Overview Leadership coach, entrepreneur, and former physicist Joshua Spodek spoke from a scientist's and entrepreneur's perspective on developing personal leadership skills. The two-day, eight-hour interactive seminar took place April 5 and…

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Leadership and personal development and school

In my seminar yesterday I mentioned "plays well with others" may be one of the most valuable skills in adulthood for team-based activities. Yet we treat it as a joke for children, or at best a euphemism implying the student in question doesn't do well academically. Have you ever learned something amazing while developing yourself as a leader or person and wondered why leadership and personal development isn't taught in school? School taught me valuable things like math, science, history, and so on. It vaguely addressed things like physical fitness. What didn't school teach? When I lead seminars on self-awareness,…

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I have low standards the first time

This post on doing things you love even if you're not good at it prompted discussion -- or at least people asking me about doing things that feel scary or are hard. For most people, the challenges are internal. Most people aren't risking health and safety doing something like climbing Everest -- they're thinking of trying out for that senior position, singing karaoke, going to a gym for the first time, or asking that guy or girl out. Their risking losing social standing -- aka embarrassing themselves. Why people don't try new things Their biggest fears are based on beliefs…

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My next leadership seminar: June 4 and 5 at the New School (jointly with Columbia Business School)

(Some details TBD, but mark your calendars. The room is beautiful and centrally located. Please contact me with any questions. I'll update details as they are determined.)   LEADERSHIP THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE At a time when businesses and business schools seek to learn from designers and design schools seek to prepare "students to be leaders in their professions and society", cross-pollination between communities over common interests is as valuable as ever. Personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence have emerged as common and fundamental to both communities. In a weekend, learn how to develop these skills using recent…

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On vengeance

A few thoughts from when I heard last night that U.S. soldiers killed Osama bin Laden. This passage of the Tao Te Ching resonated most with me: Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them. Weapons are the tools of fear; a decent man will avoid them except in the direst necessity and, if compelled, will use them only with the utmost restraint. Peace is his highest value. If the peace has been shattered, how can he be content? His enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself. He doesn't wish them personal harm. Nor does…

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When you want to feel fake

Why would anyone want to feel fake? When do you want to feel fake? Developing leadership skills or other types of personal development aren't like learning typical how-to skills. When you develop leadership skills or develop personally, you change how everyone sees you and how you see everyone. You change as a person, in other words. You used to be person A and expect to become person B. As person A you knew what environments, beliefs, and behaviors brought you reward. You knew how to enjoy life. As the person B you will become you expect to know what environments,…

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How to find strengths in your weaknesses

Do you have weaknesses you just can't seem to lose? Maybe you interrupt too much? Or solve problems when you should be building relationships? This perspective may help. When clients tell me about their weaknesses, I generally ask them for examples of how the skills in question worked or didn't work. A common pattern emerges, though it's not universal. One example is my student/client with great listening skills who interrupted a lot. Anyone conversing with him could tell his comprehension and recall were excellent, so he wasn't weak in that area. Yet he got poor reviews. Why? Because he interrupted.…

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Perfection in leadership and how to improve

Leadership does not require perfection -- far from it. Effective leaders don't have to be strong in many leadership skills at all. Effective leadership emerges more from knowing your strengths and weaknesses than on having many strengths. Speed and strength are valuable to any position in football, but a quarterback doesn't need strength like a lineman. And a lineman doesn't need to be as fast as a running back. A quarterback trying to be as strong as a lineman is wasting his time and hurting his team. Using Columbia Business School's breakdown of leadership skills into the six categories, for…

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Why learn leadership (even if you don’t want to be a leader)

"What's so important about leadership? Why learn to be a leader? What if I don't want to be one?" I get these questions a lot in my seminars and in conversation, often preceded by "What is it with you Americans?" I often let others in the audience answer the question. Developing leadership skills reveals their value, whether you use them to lead people or not, so a few people answering usually effectively addresses the questions. I answer with a few perspectives. First, people like to interact with people with solid leadership skills -- that is, they are attractive -- and…

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