How would you behave during the Cuban Missile Crisis?

The movie Thirteen Days illustrated how John Kennedy and the executive branch handled the Cuban Missile Crisis. I recommend the movie (and Robert Kennedy's book of the same name). I edited some parts to highlight one aspect of the situation---the personal perspectives and behavior of people closest to the President. While you won't likely face decisions with stakes as high as nuclear war, you'll face similar structures of conflict. Many people have written about conflict management, decision-making, avoiding groupthink, and other angles. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/thirteen_days_clips.ogv I recommend watching these clips actively by trying to put yourself in the places of each character,…

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You don’t have to overcome adversity to achieve a lot

I keep hearing people say that if only they lived in a time of greater crisis, they could have achieved more. They look at George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and other famous leaders and notice they emerged through crises. I read a Harvard Business Review article implying people have to go through crucibles to develop as leaders. You don't have to overcome adversity to achieve a lot. You don't need an outside challenge. I think people don't look for counterexamples because it's easier to blame external factors than to take responsibility for realizing your dreams. It's like…

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Emotions and sharp knives

Yesterday I compared emotions to fire and pain---things we don't enjoy feeling but we can use to improve our lives if we know how to use them. Calling them negative leads us to suppress and deny them---the opposite of self-awareness---which takes away our ability to improve our lives. I call that counterproductive. I think sharp knives might make a more helpful analogy. I might call sharp knives negative if I handled them clumsily and threw them around carelessly. You don't let children handle sharp knives because they don't have the dexterity to use them without hurting themselves. Chefs train to…

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What do you think when someone acts not how you want

How do you think when someone acts unexpectedly, especially a way you don't like. That result is usually the opposite of leadership, where you want people behaving the way you lead them. I used to think something like They did something wrong. Why would they do that?!? What's their problem? I know how to do this right. I have to change them. What should I do to get them to behave how I want? I still think that way sometimes, I guess out of habit more than effectiveness because I don't find it effective at influencing people to follow my…

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The Model: the series

[EDIT: I covered this series in more depth in Leadership Step by Step, so I recommend the book, but the core is here. I use The Model as a part of my life, basically daily.] Here is The Model---my model for the human emotional system designed for use in leadership, self-awareness, and general purpose professional and personal development---in series form. Click in the table of contents to the left for each page. I find this Model the most effective and valuable foundation for understanding yourself and others and improving your life. Why? A model's value comes not from its accuracy but…

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Asking “Are leaders born or made?” doesn’t help you develop as a leader

Talk about leadership and someone will ask if leaders are born or made. If you're just idly chatting, it's a fine pointless question to pass the time with. If you want to develop as a leader, I suggest the question will waste your time. No great leader started leading in a vacuum, nor as a child. They all developed somehow. Even if they had a greater potential than you do, you can improve. What works in developing leaders I suggest more relevant questions for people trying to improve their leadership skills include What techniques work to develop leaders? How can…

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The Method: the series

[EDIT: I covered this series in more depth in Leadership Step by Step, so I recommend the book, but the core is here. I use this technique as a part of my life, basically daily.] Here is The Method on how to use The Model---my model for the human emotional system designed for use in leadership, self-awareness, and general purpose professional and personal development---in series form. I find the Model and Method the most effective and valuable foundation for understanding yourself and others and improving your life. The Model tells you how we work. The Method shows you how to…

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A model to get more sales and to stay calm under pressure

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you want to get more sales? Even if you don't sell anything, you probably propose things, pitch things, apply for things, and so forth. Do you want to be more successful there and to close more? I learned today's model in sales class in business school, but it applies to many cases -- nearly any…

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