This exercise transforms your life. It has you do the first three steps of the Method, prepares you for the fourth, and sets up accountability with others for step 4. Accountability is how things get done, so it can help a lot. I do this exercise halfway through my seminar. People get deeply into it, even after sitting in a room for five or six hours. When we review the exercise people sometimes tell me it gave them their first experience ever sharing some problems, then finding themselves surprised to find simple solutions to them. Requirements (or good-to-haves) You can…

The Method's steps 2 and 3 have you conceive of new emotions, environments, beliefs, and behaviors for emotional cycles you want to change. The challenge How do you pick the new beliefs to crowd out the old ones? Choosing the opposite to existing beliefs rarely helps. You end up debating yourself in your head. Discussion I find complements to beliefs crowd out existing ones more effectively. For example, I found an effective alternative to rising anger is not to try to be calm, but to be curious about the situation causing the anger. The curiosity crowds out the anger and…

Many people feel they can't change themselves or that doing so is fake. Here is a quick exercise to show you how easily you can change yourself because you do it already. Step 1 First answer the question "Who are you?" by describing yourself with three or four adjectives. I know you're just reading a web page, but if you have pen and paper or can open a window on your computer to write in, write a few adjectives that describe you before going to the next step. No one will hold you to them, so you don't have to…

The third exercise comes in two parts also. First you think of emotions you'd prefer to the ones listed in the previous exercise. Second you think of environments, beliefs, and behaviors to create those emotions. You think of the emotions first because they are the roots of your values and what creates meaning and purpose. By listing what you can't or won't do in the previous exercise, you assure yourself you won't do anything you consider wrong or don't want to. By starting with your emotions, you know you'll be doing things consistent with your values, meaning, and purpose. The…

Yesterday's exercise was to list a couple areas in your life you want to improve. Today's exercise is to view the areas from the perspective of the Model. Exercise 2 Part 1 Write on a piece of paper in four different lines, the words "Old environment:," "Old beliefs:," "Old emotions:," and "Old behaviors:," like so: Old environments: Old beliefs: Old emotions: Old behaviors: Then for each area on your life you want to improve, fill out each of the four elements of the relevant emotional cycles. The idea is to break up something complex into simpler parts that are easier…

You want to improve your life. I'm about to present three great exercises that help -- you could say one exercise in three parts. My seminars cover them over the course of the first day, with a fourth follow-up if time permits (which I link to at the end of the third exercise here). People report finding them deceptively simple for how much they help. They create a structure that makes it easy to understand otherwise complex and emotionally laden parts of your life. They also build cumulatively. They also start great conversations and form bonds between the people who…