Observations on leadership and success from Inside the Actors Studio

I've watched a lot of episodes of Inside the Actors Studio. I've referred to it before and I'll keep referring to it as a resource for leadership because actors and leaders share this common element to their craft: part of our jobs is to recognize and manage emotions in ourselves to communicate them and create and inspire emotions in others. Actors tend to inspire laughter, tears, and catharsis whereas leaders tend to inspire motivation, dedication, and action, but those are just different ranges of emotions. Both crafts inspire emotions in others through identifying and creating emotions in ourselves. That common…

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An exercise in doing what you have to even when you don’t want to

Everybody faces tasks they don't want to start, know they have to do, but also know won't take that long -- things you might characterize like pulling teeth, holding your nose and taking your medicine, or grinning and bearing it. We all want to learn to motivate ourselves better. Examples include talking to your boss about a raise, talking to a significant other about a problem that's been bothering you for a while, or finally sitting down and doing your taxes. You know the task won't take that long. It probably won't even hurt. But you have to do it.…

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How to take risks

I've written about my models for how to motivate doing things you aren't good at. Such skills are important in many fields, but especially so in leadership. More than having to motivate yourself to do things for the first time, you often have to motivate many others to do things they haven't done. One is my practice of having low standards the first time I do something, which motivates doing things the first time at all. I can always improve later. But I have to try once to get to later tries. Another is Martha Graham's statement: Nobody cares if…

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Leadership in garbage we can learn from

I just read that Sweden is separating their trash so effectively, they're buying garbage from other countries. That is, their reducing-reusing-and-recycling programs work so well, their waste-incineration program is running low. Needless to say, reducing waste reduces pollution more than incinerating garbage, so one program starving the other helps the environment. According to Phys.org, Europe's average amount of trash ending up as waste if 38 percent. Sweden's is 1 percent. I shudder at what the United States' is. My home country doesn't lead in this area. It follows. Probably embarrassingly, at least for people who don't like to pollute the…

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An entrepreneurial example of leading by example

In September, 2001, the company I co-founded, Submedia, was installing its first display in Atlanta for our first big launch. We anticipated a lot of press. Giving away part of how the story ends, we did get a lot of media attention. The night before launch was crazy -- we had a few hours to finish installing the display, we had to prepare for the Fire Marshall's inspection the morning before the launch, and we had national, Atlanta-based, and possibly some New York-based press scheduled to attend the launch. At the pace we had worked before, we'd need more than…

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Why football is better than soccer. Actually, why any sport is better than soccer.

This post is about integrity. I like watching football. Watching a game or two on a Sunday is one of the main reasons I haven't gotten rid of my tv. Watching the Super Bowl in another country inevitably leads to people raised outside the U.S. talking about the superiority of soccer. They talk about how football has so many breaks in the action and something about grace or strategy. I see preferences between sports as a matter of personal taste so I don't find their arguments compelling. I don't argue back that football is better for the reasons I watch…

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What is your model for leadership?, part 2

Following yesterday's post asking you about your model for leadership, you might wonder mine. I looked at my paper from the business school leadership class, but my model has evolved so much from then -- the beginning of my even asking the questions -- I don't see value in posting it. Elements of my leadership model Since then I've developed my Model of the human emotional system, which I've found tremendously useful in motivation, understanding, and leading others and myself, so I consider it an essential and prominent part of my model for leadership. Even that Model I've built on,…

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What is your model for leadership?, part 1

To ask what your model for leadership is is not just an idle question. It was the sole question for the final essay in one of my leadership classes at Columbia Business School -- one of the best classes I'd ever taken, including all undergrad and graduate school classes. Models influence your behavior strongly. Since people tend to do what they think is best (though not always what you think is best), at least I believe they do, their models for things determine how they act. If you have a model that leads to effective behavior, you might lead easily…

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How you look at things solves problems, NASA-style

A scene from the inspirational docudrama Apollo 13 based on the true rescue of a disaster in space illustrates a great example of how different models and beliefs can motivate different motivations and behavior. The scene is the control room after a lunar mission suffered an explosion and three astronauts' lives were in peril as their ship hurdled through space with little chance at recovery. The characters are a fictional character representing NASA's public relations named Henry Hurt, an unnamed NASA Director Hurt interviews, and Gene Krantz, the Flight Director. This clip, though perhaps overly dramatized, shows different aspects of…

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Motivating with compassion but without empathy: telling someone to let go doesn’t help them let go

Do you ever find yourself trying to get someone to let go of something, to relax, or something similar, but they don't? You know if they just didn't worry so much or stopped caring about something so much, they'd have an easier time with the project, relationship, life, or whatever, but they just don't let go? You may be motivated by compassion, but I suspect a lack of empathy may be hampering you. I'll illustrate the perspective of the person you're trying to motivate with a story from my life. Fear of being judged performing in public This example is…

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Common objection 12: I’ve worked so long and hard but feel like I’m getting nowhere or going backward

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection I don't think you can significantly change your life, at least not at the beginning, without thinking something like I've been working on this for six months and I'm farther back than I was when I started. or I try so hard and I never get anywhere. For small or simple changes we may progress…

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Previously Unreleased Interviews with The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. from WNYC

I don't celebrate all major holidays, but I celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. Every year I take time to do something special for the day. Usually I do something to honor his memory and achievements or learn more history. This year I have two things. First, a friend told me that WNYC just released four in-depth interviews of him. Each is about thirty minutes, so I got to listen to him speak -- not a speech or prepared anything. He was thirty-two years old in the first three (in 1961). The fourth was in 1967, with clips from 1966…

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Responsibility and accountability: expect stagnation without them

The other day I saw a post for a headline that caught my eye "On Scale of 0 to 500, Beijing’s Air Quality Tops ‘Crazy Bad’ at 755" because I was just in Beijing. I remember early one evening looking up in the sky and seeing a low flying airplane. Actually, I only saw its lights in the smog. I got confused looking at it because it looked close, so I expected it to appear to move fast. But it was moving so slowly I figured it had to be very far away. Then I realized why it didn't look…

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Comparing biology and physics from a business leadership perspective

I studied physics to nearly the farthest levels you can at one of the great institutions. Now I study evolutionary psychology more. I've thought about these things a lot. As a practicing businessman and inventor, I look to nature -- physics -- for ideas to create and engineer to bring to market. As a leader I look to people -- biology -- to interact with, team up with, buy from, sell to, etc; in short, to influence. Sometimes I think about the fields and how I interact with them daily, not abstractly asking about the fields or as a researcher…

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Rules are other people telling you what to do; Breaking rules lets you excel

Learning Chinese as I am, I'm learning a lot of rules of that language. If you've spoken to me in person over the past few years, you've probably heard my fun-with-language game to purposefully conjugate the verbs to be and to have wrong. I often say "How is you?" or "I has to go to the store." I'll be the first to admit the mis-conjugation is affected, but it's also fun. Some friends have adopted it too and we make a game of it. I mention the game now in the context of learning language to return to a concept…

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Overview of Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — six key concepts of this web page

Today I'll give an overview of the series I just finished on understanding the six key concepts of this web page:  leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion. What is value? What are values? What is value? What are values? (short version) Understanding others’ value and their values What is meaning? How do I create more meaning in my life? What is purpose? How do I create more purpose in my life? Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — Interlude on writing on emotions and emotional awareness so much What is importance? What makes something important? How do I have…

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What is leadership?

Next on the list of concepts under my name at the top of this page is leadership. See earlier posts for values, meaning, purpose, importance, and passion. Unlike the other concepts, leadership intrinsically involves other people. At first that complexity makes it seem harder to understand, but I think it gets simpler in the end. I start my "Leadership through emotional intelligence and self-awareness" seminars by asking what leadership is, following how my core Leadership course began at Columbia Business School. Since understanding an apparently broad concept like leadership on its own can be hard Columbia's course talks about "six…

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What is importance? What makes something important? How do I have more important things in my life and less junk?

Next on the list of concepts under my name at the top of this page is importance. See earlier posts for values, meaning, and purpose. For something to be important, it has to change your life. If something doesn't affect your life, it's hard to call it important. And something changing your life means you do something different than you would have done otherwise. In other words, something important changes your motivations -- it motivates you. In other words, it affects your emotions. As with values, meaning, and purpose, if you want to understand something's importance to you, understand how…

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Understanding leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, passion — Interlude on writing on emotions and emotional awareness so much

You've probably noticed I'm writing a series of posts on the main themes of this blog -- the words under my name at the top: leadership, values, meaning, purpose, importance, and passion. If you’ve gotten the idea now that I’m relating these concepts back to knowing your emotions and emotional system, I’m glad. I thought I'd take a post to explain why. The vagueness people throw terms around with makes it hard to work with them. When the terms in question are values, meaning, purpose, importance, leadership, and passion -- well, those aren't things you just vaguely want to hope…

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Vince Lombardi: What It Takes to be Number One

After a couple posts on sports, I'm putting up one of the great sports coaching quotes, by Vince Lombardi. According to Wikipedia Vincent Thomas "Vince" Lombardi (June 11, 1913 – September 3, 1970) was an American football coach. He is best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s, where he led the team to three straight league championships and five in seven years, including winning the first two Super Bowls following the 1966 and 1967 NFL seasons. The National Football League's Super Bowl trophy is named in his honor. He was enshrined in the NFL's…

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Petty pathetic censorship

For Want of a Nail For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of a message the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail. A nail While the Chinese government blocks many U.S.-based video sites, like YouTube, they not only have plenty of copy-cat sites but with a few clicks you can find many full feature-length…

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Schopenhauer on the consistency and reliability of our emotional systems

I haven't read anything by Arthur Schopenhauer and hardly know anything about him, but I agree with this quote from him: Mensch kann tun was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will. One can choose what to do, but not what to want. People contrast emotions with reason, see they differ, and conclude emotions are irrational, unpredictable, and follow no system. I agree they are hard to predict in others whose environments, belief, and behaviors we don't know, but that doesn't mean our emotions aren't systematic. I, like Shopenhauer, it seems, see the human emotional system as…

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Overcoming Objections and Blocks overview and table of contents

Here is an overview of my recent section on Objections and Blocks with links to all the articles. If you haven't already, I hope they help you learn to look forward to objections and blocks as signs of progress, that your project is significant, and as guidance for how to proceed. As I began the series Whether you want to lead or motivate others or yourself, deciding to lead means you will face objections and blocks. Whether from members of your team or from your anxieties and fears, objections and blocks are similar, as are their solutions. For the next…

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Overcoming objections exercise

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I love covering objections and blocks in my seminar. More than any other, that section results in people applying the seminar's contents to their lives and solving their problems. They change their mode from digesting and evaluating the information to using and applying it. I love to see how quickly what seemed like abstract information suddenly…

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Common objection 11: Other people tell me not to

[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Objection Other people tell me not to. We all defer judgment to someone. Sometimes others know better. Not always. Sometimes we feel pressure from peers, family, society, bosses, etc. Example Parents are the big ones who advise their children to what the parents' think best, which may or may not coincide with what their children think…

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