Hear me again on the Ask Women podcast on seductive conversation

You may remember from my post Hear me on the Ask Women podcast that I spoke about my coaching men on attraction and seduction for a few years as the #1 coach in the #1 market for the #1 guru. That post began describing that podcast: What do a female comic and a professional wing girl have in common? The realistically raw and hilarious perspectives on what women ACTUALLY want in a man. Prepare to be offended and awed as Marni Kinrys & Kristen Carney take you through the uncensored and often ridiculous mind of a woman to help you…

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Management Versus Leadership

While leadership overlaps with management, let's clarify some differences to see what the environmental movement is missing. By no means am I suggesting one is better, only that transforming culture requires both and I see a lot of sustainability management but virtually no sustainability leadership. Managers use skills like analysis, planning, record-keeping, and organization on readily measurable things, facts, figures, observable deliverables, and timelines. A successful manager creates compliance. Well-managed teams get the job done. Leaders use skills like listening, vision, support, charisma, and credibility on intangibles, emotions, beliefs, stories, images, and symbols. A successful leader inspires. Well-led teams love…

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297: RIP James Lipton, a huge influence and inspiration

James Lipton, who started and hosted the show Inside the Actors Studio, died yesterday. Here are the notes I read from for this episode: I could talk about how much I enjoyed the episodes, his humor, and a few things I learned from his guests that only his interviewing could have elicited but I will go deeper, to share how fundamental his work has been to mine. Many times I've said that if my courses existed before I went to business school and someone were teaching them, I would have taken them instead of business school and gotten more of…

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Jordan Harbinger and how rehearsal *improves* spontaneity and authenticity

I'll soon post my podcast interview with Jordan Harbinger, one of the world's top podcasters. First I'm sharing this example of Jordan and how to learn to communicate authentically and genuinely---through practice and rehearsal. Think genuineness and authenticity matter in business? How about marriage? This recording features Jordan's wife talking about how Jordan came off, when she knew he practiced, rehearsed, and taught others to. Practice and rehearsal work because they make you authentic and genuine---the opposite of fake. No one was born with it. Everyone had to learn it. Jordan and Jen show how effective practice is in the…

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Tathra Street of the Tall Poppy Podcast interviewed me, and it’s a great conversation

Tathra Street hosts the Tall Poppy podcast. Today she posted our wonderful conversation, which covered leadership, burpees, competition, and important things we all wish we talked about more. The top of her page says: Change – Leadership – Wisdom The top of mine used to say: Meaning – Value – Purpose You can tell we'd complement in interests. Anyway, she listened and sounded like she took what I shared to heart, when made me feel comfortable sharing more. I hope you also appreciate what she shared in her review after the conversation after listening to the conversation. At least from…

Continue ReadingTathra Street of the Tall Poppy Podcast interviewed me, and it’s a great conversation

Reinvention Radio with Steve Olsher interviewed me

I'm honored and privileged for Reinvention Radio with Steve Olsher to have interviewed me. There's nothing like live radio to make a conversation exciting and spontaneous. We did exercises from the book on the air. Now the conversation is online for you to listen to at your leisure. About Reinvention Radio: Reinvention Radio … Obliterates the limits of possibility Boldly reinvents average Unequivocally expands your knowledge Massively impacts the trajectory of your business (and your life) Where ‘normal’ comes to die; ‘mediocrity’ meets its final demise; and, ‘the status quo’ is unabashedly dismantled. Each guest boldly reinvents average, obliterates the…

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The Inspirational Chronicles with Emilio Ron, parts 1 and 2: Building Discipline and Become an Exceptional Communicator

I met Emilio Ron at an event for public speakers. We started talking and he invited me to be a guest on his new podcast, Inspirational Chronicles. The following fits into the conversation we recorded: He invited me to record in the studio he set up. Somehow, despite living in Manhattan, I agreed to take the train---not even the subway, but the Long Island Railroad---all the way out to Long Island, where he had to drive me from the station to the studio. Manhattanites expect the world to come to us! Once I saw the studio I could tell he…

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Read my Forbes interview today by Jimmy Rohampton!

Jimmy Rohampton of Forbes caught up with and interviewed me. He posted the article today, "An Executive Coach's Best Tips On Facebook Groups, Habits And Doing Work You Love." Longtime readers who know how much I owe my success to writing daily in my blog will appreciate Jimmy's page: HowToCreateABlog.org. I found the connection helped us connect and make the interview more relevant. I was delighted to find that Forbes filed it under "The Little Black Book of Billionaire Secrets." Read An Executive Coach's Best Tips On Facebook Groups, Habits And Doing Work You Love!

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Learning social and emotional skills is hard but worth it

Ultimately all the advice in the world leads to one simple starting point: You have to act, practice, and rehearse new skills to get their benefit and those first acts, as with any new skill, will be clumsy, embarrassing, and full of other challenges that will lead the novice to feel bad. If you try, you will fail and feel bad, worse than if you never tried, but if you stick with it, you can overcome the failures. You'll never lose access to the skills you now have it you don't want to feel or act social, but you can…

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Becoming The Person Others Follow: the Art of Authenticity awesome second interview!

Laura Coe, host of The Art of Authenticity podcast, posted today our second interview, "Joshua Spodek: Becoming The Person Others Follow," which covers Leadership Step by Step, along with authenticity in general. Laura is a wonderful interviewer who genuinely cares about her guests. A second interview means more familiarity and comfort, which means covering perspectives and details beyond what a first interview can cover. Listen to the interview! (scroll down) Here are Laura's notes: In this episode of Art of Authenticity I had a thoughtful conversation with Joshua Spodek, an astrophysicist, entrepreneur, leader, and author of the book Leadership Step…

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Is leading with empathy and compassion soft? Will you get taken advantage of?

A reader wrote with some questions common enough from other readers to share. His second message is the common one. The first sets the context of dealing with a difficult person. Here's the first message: I'd like to know how to deal with the type who is indifferent to the possible adverse repercussions for his actions (or lack thereof) and may actually want to deliberately trigger you to intervene and micromanage even if that's the last thing you have time for and it defeats the purpose of having the individual take on a role in the first place. In other…

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How off-the-mark gifts destroy relationships, what to do about it, and how it helps you as a leader

Do you ever get a gift that's almost what you want, but not quite? People who know me know I don't like books, as I wrote about in "Less, please". Sometimes someone gives me a book. I don't want it. I can get it from the library across the street from me. Now I have to feel weird selling to a bookstore for $5 something you paid $25 for. What do you do about the mismatch? You feel awkward, they see you as ungrateful... If you thank them, they may buy you more of what you don't want. Others may…

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Start conversations and relationships with “passion”: vindicated by Fast Company

A reader and former NYU collaborator sent me this article from Fast Company under their "Leadership" heading: "27 Questions To Ask Instead Of "What Do You Do?" She knows my passion for effective and meaningful conversation, making people feel comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities, and supporting them on things they care about. Longtime readers will remember how I disparage "So what do you do?" as a leach that saps passion from conversation in favor of boring small talk that, by not risking hitting a vulnerability, avoids hitting what the person cares about. In my post "How to stop boring everyone you…

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Quora Saturday: big-time failure, anger, jealousy, insecurity, and leadership

Continuing my Saturday series on posting my answers to questions from Quora, here are my next questions answered: What are some historical examples of failures managed by great leaders? Especially by taking responsibility and not throwing anybody under the bus. How do I overcome feelings of anger and jealousy? How can people overcome insecurity and jealousy in their relationships? Is it possible to overcome jealousy? If so, how can jealousy be tackled and avoided? How do I overcome jealousy? What really causes jealousy? What system of leadership is the best and why? I answered a few similar questions on jealousy…

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These two surprisingly touching Vince Lombardi quotes reveal the source of his winning leadership

For Vince Lombardi's birthday, I wrote in Inc.com, "These two surprisingly touching Vince Lombardi quotes reveal the source of his winning leadership." The piece begins These two surprisingly touching Vince Lombardi quotes reveal the source of his winning leadership For the great coach's birthday, how to create winning traditions in your teams. I'm writing this article exhausted and sore because two days ago I started researching for this article. Having hurt my leg running, I decided to skip a workout to recover. Then I read Vince Lombardi. His birthday is tomorrow. Most people think of him as a hard-core tough…

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Six Lessons I Learned at Lunch With the Best Leader in America

My post on Inc.com today, "Six Lessons I Learned at Lunch With the Best Leader in America," begins Six Lessons I Learned at Lunch With the Best Leader in America Experience trumps everything in leadership and she has more than you do. From the Girl Scouts to the White House. Is Alan Mulally, former CEO of Ford, whose stock price went up 18 times under his watch, a fair judge of good leadership? How about Peter Drucker, the "founder of modern management"? How about Marshall Goldsmith, named the #1 leadership thinker in the world in 2015? If we can accept them as reasonable judges, they all named…

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Video: How to Make Meaningful Connections

Here is the video from Sunday's webinar on How to Make Meaningful Connections, which, as I describe in it and you'll find if you practice the exercise in it, is about how to develop compassion. The exercise in this webinar teaches some of the most valuable skills you can learn about relationships. Every leader I've ever heard talk about compassion describes it as critical, up there with empathy and self-awareness. Scratch that. Every successful person, not just leaders. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9h3gNZ3rl4 If you want your questions answered, attend the webinars or contact me. By the way, I'm still getting to the questions…

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Video: The Worst Problem in the World

I've shown this representation of what I call The Worst Problem in the World at many seminars. I wrote about it about five years ago. Now you can see the video. Watch all the way through to see some solutions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUycXlo4OX8 Take my course if you want to get beyond it and resolve it in your life, mainly by doing the exercises in it to develop compassion and empathy.

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Webinar: How to Make Meaningful Connections, Sunday 1pm EST

After teaching, coaching, studying, and practicing leadership for twenty years, I announced my online leadership course, “Introducing the most effective leadership course available anywhere.” I’m hosting a series of free webinars on the most actionable, useful, effective, and exciting parts of the course. My webinars will always deliver exclusive, valuable lessons you can use that day and how to build for the long term. Attend my fourth webinar, free, this Sunday, March 6, 1pm Eastern Standard Time! All you need is an internet connection. How to Make Meaningful Connections If you want to lead or influence others in business and…

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Inc.com Today: 2 Questions To Ask in Every Interview So They’ll Want You Back (Video)

My post today on Inc.com, “2 Questions To Ask in Every Interview So They'll Want You Back,” begins: Instead of trying to show off, making you look like a commodity, use these techniques to make interviews two-way conversations where they'll want you back. Isn't that what you want from an interview? If you want one thing most from an interview, you want the interviewer to want you back. If you want a second thing, you want to know if you want to work there--do you like the people, the culture, and everything else about working there. What not to do in…

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Introducing the most effective leadership course available anywhere

If you read this blog, you know I care about leadership and how to improve yours---in business, personal, family, and every other part of your life. I presume you do too. As much as you've learned from the blog, you can learn more from doing. If you want to improve because you're moving up the corporate ladder, just finished school, starting your own projects, or any other reason that you have to lead people and teams, developing leadership skills from practice will improve you most effectively. Anyone can improve their ability to lead, and the most effective improvement comes from…

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Inc.com Today: How to Build the Best Relationships With Both Leaders and Superiors

My post today on Inc.com, “How to Build the Best Relationships With Both Leaders and Superiors,” begins: Misunderstanding how we like helping others holds many back from building relationships with leaders and superiors. Getting their help can advance you. You get that meeting with that decision-maker/founder/CEO/titan/guru/expert who can make your project happen. You've dreamed of this chance for years. How do you interact with this person? If you're like most people, you treat them deferentially, meaning you show respect. You don't ask too much of them. After all, they're doing you a favor, right? I suggest avoiding this strategy, however natural…

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Inc.com Today: Why You Should Never Let Anyone Call You ‘Smart’ in Business

My post today on Inc.com, "Why You Should Never Let Anyone Call You 'Smart' in Business" begins: Intelligence is good so entrepreneurs should like being called smart, right? Wrong. People call you smart when you have nothing they care about more. Look at who doesn't care if you're smart in business: Customers value products and services that solve their problems. Employees want to pay their rent and enjoy their jobs. Suppliers want to get paid. But the big concern is investors. Read the rest at the site: Why You Should Never Let Anyone Call You 'Smart' in Business

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The United States Constitution, leadership, and why I try to minimize my polluting

Did this clause of the Constitution confuse you when you first learned it, in particular that part about treaties: This Constitution, and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof; and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the US., shall be the supreme law of the land The part about treaties puzzled me when I first learned it. We're talking some time around junior high, so I'm drawing on distant memories, but I remember thinking that if the Constitution was about how the government worked with the people in…

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