What about Tiger Woods? Why was he pilloried?

After writing about bad boys, success, and discipline yesterday, you might ask, "What about Tiger Woods? Why was he pilloried? He is full of discipline. Why didn't society accept of him something many successful athletes do?" I'm no expert on public relations, but I see two main issues. First, the lesser issue. He doesn't have a bad boy reputation. His is clean cut and respectful, or looks that way to me. Charles Barkley throwing a guy through a bar window fits within his image as a physical player. By the time he did it, he had already done many similar…

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Leaders and tools

A friend wanted to develop expertise in a field by getting more degrees in school. As I wrote in "Programmers work with computers and leaders work with people," people with functional skills can solve problems in that functional area: carpenters can solve problems with wood, plumbers can solve problems with pipes, and so on. Leaders can solve problems with people. Expertise is nice, but if you have leadership skills, you can hire experts in fields you need problems solved in. If you don't have leadership skills, you may end up the tool of someone who does, helping them achieve their…

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Learn and practice one of the most effective leadership techniques in person — September 30 in Manhattan

Want to learn and practice one of the most effective leadership techniques? Then join me for a workshop, Wednesday, September 30th at 6:30pm in midtown, and get a copy of the #1 bestselling leadership book included! From the announcement from the Columbia Business School Alumni Club (everyone is welcome): The Workshop Committee of the Columbia Business School Alumni Club invites you to a workshop on Marshall Goldsmith's FEEDFORWARD hosted by Joshua Spodek, PhD MBA '06 including a copy of his #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller TRIGGERS with admission Click here to purchase tickets. The Economist named…

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What can you recover from?

Anyone can plan something. It's harder to do it. If things went by plan they'd be easier. If you expected things to go by plan, you'd try more things. The problem is the unforeseen things and recovering from them. The more you can recover from unforeseen things, the more you'll try. The more you try the more you'll do. What can you recover from? How much can you recover from?

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Op/ed Fridays: Academics studying leadership versus leadership

A reader sent me an article in the New York Times called "Rethinking Work." It began, "HOW satisfied are we with our jobs?" and continued about polls about job satisfaction and various people's views on work, implying we should think about work differently---we like work less for money and more for intrinsic reward. The author is a psychology professor. Articles like this come out all the time. I'm glad academics think about these points, but he doesn't suggest anything to do. He just writes. I suppose the writing isn't boring, but what's the point of suggesting things could be better…

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Leadership lessons from Frances Hesselbein, part 5/5

"What do I say to a 99-year-old woman?" "What do I say to a famous person?" "What do I say to someone who could help my career without seeming selfish?" All I could think to ask was what it's like to be 99, which seemed irrelevant and the same question people have asked her for a decade. I don't like when people find out I don't eat meat and ask me where I get my protein. Again? How unimaginative and boring. Do they not realize how many people ask the same question? I'm sure people ask you similar annoying questions.…

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Leadership lessons from Frances Hesselbein, part 4

What do say about yourself when you've hung out with half a dozen Presidents of the United States, won a Presidential Medal of Freedom, learned from Peter Drucker, been called the best leader in the world by CEOs of Fortune 100 companies, befriended four-star Generals, and things like that? Do you keep it to yourself, as modesty would suggest? How do you mention those things without bragging, or sounding like you are? Frances talked about them throughout the conversation. She didn't go out of her way to, nor did she sound like she was bragging, but she did. I noticed…

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Non-judgmental Ethics Sunday: Handling a Racist Remark in the Workplace

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Handling a Racist Remark in the Workplace." I represent a real-estate developer in Florida. Recently an employee of one of the developer’s commercial tenants confided to me that he overheard an administrator at his company tell another employee that she had just read a book called ‘‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’’ and thought it contained excellent points. The person with whom she was speaking, a…

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Leadership lessons from Frances Hesselbein, part 3

Over lunch Frances described to me her background. I had wondered how she got started, why when the CEO of Ford, Alan Mulaly, gave her a car, she picked it up near Pittsburgh. She told me about growing up near there and going to the University of Pittsburgh. If I remember right, she didn't finish. It struck me because she is yet another prominent leader who didn't graduate college. She's surrounded by the best and brightest---leading them, responding to their requests for advice---and didn't get there through traditional education. One of my main inspirations for teaching and coaching leadership end…

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Lessons in leadership from Frances Hesselbein, part 2

Frances invited me to her office. The first day I went, I approached the front desk. The security guy was friendly. As he processed my ID he said, "Oh yeah, Frances gets big visitors. Sometimes Generals come in. Four stars, ones from TV. They all have to wait for her." Impressive! Her office is in a big Park Avenue high-rise office building in the 50s. The lobby had fifty-foot ceilings, or something really high, and clear glass walls looking out on Park Avenue. Her executive assistant came down to tell me that there was nothing serious, but Frances had to…

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Lessons in leadership from Frances Hesselbein, part 1

"To serve is to live." Frances Hesselbein had the fastest, clearest, most direct, and most meaningful answer of anyone I remember asking her passion. Five minutes into our pre-lunch conversation and she went right to the point. Experience and, I believe, only experience enables people to encapsulate great meaning in a minimum of words. I was immediately struck by the power and meaning in these few short words: "to serve is to live." If you read her writings, you see these five words a lot, but they carry more meaning when she says them directly after you ask her passion.…

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“To convince” means “to provoke debate” and rarely works

Talk about leading people and a lot of people will talk to you about convincing people as a way of leading them. I recommend against this strategy. Convincing someone implies logically debating. Changing someone's behavior means changing their motivations, which means changing their emotions. Logical argument evokes emotions of debate. Convincing motivates people to disagree. They also feel like you're trying to impose your values on them. If you disagree with me right now, your own emotional reaction is illustrating the point! In other words: I will convince you that trying to convince people provokes disagreement. Either you agree with…

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Old man still got it

My team won the first sports tournament I played in on Sunday that I remember since college (which I don't remember that well). I may have won some tournaments playing with the elite teams I played on in club and the co-ed team I went to Nationals with in 1998. There's nothing like the feeling of winning a hard competition. It was just summer league, more of a fun league than competitive, but it still counts. There are points in close games where, if you want to win, you have to put the players on the line who will win…

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Leaders rarely work in absolutes

  • Post category:Leadership

If you find yourself thinking someone else is wrong and you have to convince them what's right, you probably aren't leading that effectively. Once they sense you trying to impose your values on them, you're probably motivating them to debate you, which is not getting the job done. Successful leaders motivate people to get jobs done. When you view the object of leaders' work as people, you realize you have to work with what you have---their beliefs, perspectives, habits, and so on, just like a plumber has to deal with the pipes in the building, not the pipes he or…

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Non-judgmental Ethics Sunday: Is It Wrong If a Friend Sells My Hand-Me-Downs?

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Is It Wrong If a Friend Sells My Hand-Me-Downs?" I have two small children and am frequently divesting our household of toys, clothes and other child supplies. I sell the larger items, but I typically give the smaller items away to a neighborhood parent or leave them in a box in front of my house to be taken for free. A friend on my block recently…

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Programmers work with computers and leaders work with people

When programmers work, the objects they work with tend to be computers. When plumbers work, they tend to work with pipes. Carpenters work with wood. Leaders work with people. People are the objects of leaders' work. Their tools are conversations---their equivalents of keyboards, wrenches, and saws. Most professions require thought, planning, and writing those plans out---programmers, plumbers, and carpenters included. After they finish planning and writing their plans, they act by working on the objects of their trade. Leaders do too. Their objects are people. When chefs train, they learn to use tools like knives. When leaders train, they learn…

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Op/Ed Fridays: “How Much Is a C.E.O. Worth?” misses the point

Everyone outside large corporations believes they pay their CEOs more than necessary for their performance, or at least a huge majority. In the latest of a million articles on the topic, "How Much Is a C.E.O. Worth? America’s Confused Approach to Pay," the New York Times continues to ask ineffective questions about changing anything. Like most articles, it asks "Do corporate chief executives make too much money, or too little?" and other questions of value. We already know there is no absolute measure of worth. Corporations pay what they negotiate with CEOs, the same as with other employees. Nowhere does…

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Want someone to help you more? Show appreciation!

I did someone a favor and didn't get thanked. No big deal. I'm not offended, but I'm not inclined to help them again. I read about leaders who send handwritten notes to people in their teams and the loyalty and dedication such little shows of appreciation create. I've written "how to get a mentor in two easy steps that work." Showing appreciation influences people a lot. It doesn't take much physical work or burn many calories. It takes the mental effort to get into the habit. I don't claim to do it especially well compared to others, but I do…

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Do you need to overcome a huge challenge — a crucible — to lead or reach the top?

  • Post category:Leadership

Many people believe you have to overcome a huge challenge forced on you to lead or to reach the top---the Harvard Business Review article "Crucibles of Leadership," for example. I tend not to agree. I don't see the necessity of overcoming a huge challenge forced on you from the outside. Logically, one counterexample will show you don't need such a challenge. To suggest people need crucibles fits too much into the pattern of romanticizing people who attain what others wish they could: "Oh, I could have become great like so-and-so but life just never gave me the challenge they got."…

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More ineffable truth and beauty of regular life

The subtlety and nuance of ordinary life has more than enough to compel it without all the drama that most TV and movies add. Even sitting still for ten minutes is more excitement than most people can handle. The scene below from Girl With a Pearl Earing puts more intimacy, vulnerability, and sexuality into the slightest movement of a hand. The sensuality of mixing paints, the eye contact, and the gasp help, but just the touch is a lot. I don't think you need to see the rest of the movie, though it contributes. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/girl_with_pearl_earring_clip.ogv More overt movies wish they…

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Language, communication, evolutionary psychology, and leadership

A client who knows I've applied a lot from evolutionary psychology to leadership and self-awareness wrote: What's your opinion of the theory that language serves primarily as persuasion? In its raw form, I'm currently telling you that you are an authority by asking a question. And that sentence might seem like it's an authoritative statement, but instead it is clarifying my question, which in its clarification is a neediness to be understood on my part, and distancing us even further. Does that make sense? I read the Red Queen and I don't know what to think anymore. Noting that [an…

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SIDCHAs in the wild

After driving a smelly twenty-seven-year-old pick up truck with wobbly steering and a barely functional clutch all night from my cousin's wedding outside Pittsburgh to my friend's networking day-long workshop in Manhattan, one of the session leaders asked the attendees to describe ourselves. I was too tired for small talk. He gave us paper and crayons do illustrate our descriptions. I asked if I could demonstrate instead of illustrate. He liked the idea. So when my turn came to describe myself, I brought everyone into a circle, told them my burpee-starting and SIDCHA stories, and had everyone do a few…

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How media represent and misrepresent leadership: A reader’s questions

A reader asked for follow-up on how media shows leadership, following three posts from a couple weeks ago---This is not leadership. It makes people think it is and that’s part of why we have poor leaders, part 1; part 2; part 3; and Learning about relationships ruins most movies and TV. Before the questions, I don't want to overstate what I know about relationships and how media shows them, so I have to start by saying I'm just sharing views from casual viewing, not a systematic study. I'm not trying to convince, just to share my views. I'm happy to…

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Summer Teaching Institute Reflections, day 5

I’ve written about inquiry-driven project-based learning and learning leadership and entrepreneurship. It’s a style of teaching that’s one of the main foundations of how I teach and coach leadership. It’s different than lecturing. Here’s why I avoid lecturing when I lead and teach. This week I’m attending Science Leadership Academy’s intensive Summer Teaching Institute. Science Leadership Academy is a school founded on inquiry-driven project-based learning, so it’s one of the best places to learn it. To help reflect and share what I learn, I’m posting daily notes here. Day 5 Presentation Revise vision statement Today we presented our unit plans.…

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Summer Teaching Institute Reflections, day 4

I’ve written about inquiry-driven project-based learning and learning leadership and entrepreneurship. It’s a style of teaching that’s one of the main foundations of how I teach and coach leadership. It’s different than lecturing. Here’s why I avoid lecturing when I lead and teach. This week I’m attending Science Leadership Academy’s intensive Summer Teaching Institute. Science Leadership Academy is a school founded on inquiry-driven project-based learning, so it’s one of the best places to learn it. To help reflect and share what I learn, I’m posting daily notes here. Day 4 Agenda Exercise: Make passive course exercises they gave us (like…

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