Explore and expand your boundaries and those of people you lead

Exploring and expanding your boundaries and horizons creates freedom and comfort in your life. Doing so can be challenging---"getting out of your comfort zone," as many put it---but creates results and emotional reward. The more experience you have in it, the more you can lead others to do the same, creating freedom and comfort in their lives. I'll illustrate the process with some simple diagrams. I find visualizing would-be complex things simplifies them and makes them easier to do. First, consider a diagram of the things you do, as illustrated below. As I've illustrated it, the light-colored center is where…

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Op/Ed Fridays: Bloomberg’s most infamous legacy?

This week I came across the news that The city of New York has agreed to pay $18m to settle a civil rights claim from hundreds of protesters who were rounded up and detained in overcrowded and dirty conditions after they rallied outside the 2004 Republican National Convention. For those who don't remember, the 2004 Republican National Convention in New York City, shortly after the Iraq Invasion, faced protests by hundreds of thousands of people---a sizable portion of American voters, certainly of voters near New York. According to the article, "Hundreds of thousands marched against Bush and the war in…

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Overcoming childhood anxieties and fears: nerd and geek are just elements of your style

I don't know about you, but a lot of people see me as nerdy and geeky. Growing up, the labels intimidated and debilitated me. Athletes seemed to get more attention and respect. I associated doing well in science and math with being made fun of. Since I did well in those subjects I hid my ability and didn't make a show of it. When I started college I took a couple science classes, but mostly chose humanities. I felt like a lot of people avoided science and math because they were socially less acceptable. It seemed like a lot of…

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How to set your angel free

I wrote on my model for personal development and coaching of setting your angel free based on Michelangelo's answer on how he carved David out of a block of marble: "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." My model says that since we feel most natural and people are most attracted to us when we behave free of the constraints and motivations others impose on us, our most effective goal in personal growth isn't to put more stuff on us but to free ourselves from society's impediments. (EDIT: I just referred to this…

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More inspiration from Martin Luther King, especially if you haven’t achieved much yet

Perhaps the best honor one person can give another is to understand them and continue their legacy. I'm writing today's post to suggest you can do that with Martin Luther King more than you think. Many people believe Einstein got bad grades, but I understand he didn't. Martin Luther King, Jr got bad grades. He started graduate school at a school near Philadelphia called Crozer. Note among his grades -- the grades of one of the premier public speakers I've heard of -- he got a C in Public Speaking one term and a C+ in another term. He also…

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A leadership position doesn’t make someone a leader

Many of my clients tell me they want leadership positions. Come to think of it, many of them are already in what most people would call leadership positions. They manage people, direct them, decide on bonuses, hiring, and firing, and so on. But they aren't satisfied with their current positions. They don't know why. They just think they'll like things more when they are higher on the organizational chart or running a company they started. They misunderstand leadership, confusing a position or title with having control over their lives. The more your role consists of obligations over which you have…

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Master introversion AND extroversion

Yesterday I wrote about freeing yourself from constraining beliefs. Today I'll expand on creating new beliefs to free yourself from such constraints. I wanted to illustrate at least one alternative to the standard one-dimensional model of introversion and extroversion that I find impedes self-awareness, understanding, and personal growth and development. Many people continue to believe it because they have no alternative that helps their life more. Others rigidly hold on to their old belief because they can't distinguish between the belief and the object of their belief -- for example, telling people who disagree with their view that they don't…

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The Self-Imposed Daily Challenging Healthy Activity (SIDCHA) series

I'm so swept up by SIDCHAs I made a series for them. Click here for the SIDCHA series. Do you want success or failure? Do you want to lead yourself or to follow others? Do you want a shot at greatness or mediocrity? Do you want resilience from feeling bad when things don't go your way or do you want your emotions to wreak havoc with you when things inevitably don't go your way? The Self-Imposed Daily Challenging Healthy Activity (SIDCHA) is the foundation for success, personal leadership, your shot at greatness, emotional resilience, and more. While a SIDCHA alone…

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After a difficult decision affecting your team: Eisenhower and the paratroopers before D-day

Yesterday's clip on Ike deciding whether to risk sending tens of thousands of men into potentially pointless suicide missions with losses up to seventy percent didn't show how he followed up. Those paratroopers were the first wave of the invasion, to jump the night before the amphibious invasion. He decided to send them. What do you do when you decide to send tens of thousands of young men possibly to become sitting ducks--seventy percent of them? Ike had spent most of the months preparing for launch working with Generals, diplomats, the King, the President, and so on. The military chain…

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Eisenhower, D-Day, and keeping teams strong while making hard choices

If you think making decisions is hard, how about ones where the lives of thousands of people depend on your choice? Or possibly the free world? I find learning how people succeeded in difficult cases makes doing things well in my world easier. Today's post shows a dramatization of a decision then-General Eisenhower, Ike, had to make in preparing for D-Day. This scene stuck with me since I first saw the movie for a leadership class at Columbia Business School during a unit on decision-making. The context: The clip shows two scenes--one two days before D-Day, the other the next…

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The Method — the series

I posted The Method on how to use The Model — my model for the human emotional system designed for use in leadership, self-awareness, and general purpose professional and personal development — in series form. Here is a link to it. I find the Model and Method the most effective and valuable foundation for understanding yourself and others and improving your life. The Model tells you how we work. The Method shows you how to use The Model to lead yourself and others and create the lifestyle you want. I recommend reading The Model Series first, then reading this series…

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USA morale down because of NSA — Washington Post

Yesterday's Washington Post reported "NSA morale down after Edward Snowden revelations, former U.S. officials say". I commented the following at Hacker News, which got voted as the top comment, and, as a testament to the ethos of tech-savvy people, at least in that community, one of my highest overall voted comments ever (see discussion here, and I recommend reading the comments on the Post's page too). More like "USA morale down after Edward Snowden revelations, much of U.S. population says," I'd say. That happens when you do something most people would feel shame for. A major difference between NSA employees…

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Some “problems” you want to have

Yesterday I wrote about how leadership creates community, which, if you persevere, leads to living freely and by your values and experiencing deep emotional reward. Your life improves by doing so. It creates effects I can only call problems, but they are problems you want to have because they help you learn and grow even more. The "problem" with knowing how to make your dreams come true -- in making your fantasies reality As you develop your skills in leading others and creating the social worlds you want, you learn that your deepest emotional reward comes from your relationships with…

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Integrity in successful leaders: Gandhi cleaned toilets

This post is about integrity and sticking with your values. A few years ago I visited my father in Ahmedabad, India, the country he has studied his professional life. We visited Gandhi's ashram, a community where people who wanted to learn about and support him went. It still exists, though mainly as a static, historical site. It's a humble place on the banks of a river, humbler than you'd expect one of the great historical world leaders to live.  A sign there (sorry no picture) stated clearly that part of everyone's duties was cleaning the toilets, meaning scrubbing the buckets…

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People who succeeded despite adversity, part 2

[This post is part of a series on people who succeed despite adversity. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Ask yourself which helps more — having advantages or learning to overcome adversity? I base this series on noticing how many extremely successful people had problems that mediocre people claim hold them back. Sure, many successful people emerged from privileged backgrounds and sure, some social problems keep many people from any chance at success, but if you’re reading this blog…

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Who is today’s King George III? Who are today’s patriots?

No two people are the same, especially centuries apart. Still, I can't help but think about the leader of a great empire, occupying foreign lands, facing bankruptcy from an expensive victory in a war that galvanized many nations against it , taxing without representation, changing laws arbitrarily, putting his troops in people's homes, with a legislative body insensitive to its citizens' concerns, ... I could go on, and ask "Who resembles this person most today?" I can't help concluding the United States government resembles less its founders than the imperial government they rebelled against. Thinking about Edward Snowden, Chelsea (born…

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Why basketball players are tall and how tyranny emerges

Today's post approaches the recent NSA surveillance revelations from a systems-theory perspective. The reasons basketball players are tall imply consequences to our government. A high-level systems perspective leaves out details, some of which may be more important than this post gives credit for. I'm not saying it's the only perspective, but I consider it important and relevant. Please feel free to comment if you feel I missed something important. Why are most basketball players tall? Why are most basketball players tall? Basketball players are tall because the rulebook puts the basket ten feet high and they want to put the…

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Restore the Fourth

Independence Day is one of the holidays I like to take time to think about its meaning. Today I'm thinking about the U.S. Bill of Rights, as timely today as ever. Why are they as important today as ever? They limit the power of government. It seems unchecked governments tend to try to seize more power. That doesn't mean they're bad or the people in them are bad. Just that people in positions of power feel motivations to increase that power, often for what many people would consider noble reasons. If you've read my posts lately you've read how I…

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Morality and the development of language

I write a lot here about how counterproductive judging others or imposing your values on them is for leadership or influencing them. (Here are five posts on it, for example: Instead of calling something right, wrong, good, or bad, consider the consequences of your actions, What is morality?, On the counterproductivity of motivating people with guilt and blame — aka moralizing, Talking about “truth” or “reality” always confuses things, How willing are you not to judge?) Thinking about the development of language gave me a new perspective that, I think, helps undermine people's attachment to calling things right, wrong, good,…

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Leadership and United States’ spying

I'd like to look at some headlines from a leadership perspective. I don't intend for today's post to be political. Governments have needed secrecy and spying since before Sun Tzu's The Art of War over two thousand years ago. People will also oppose governments that overreach their influence into their lives. Different people oppose different levels of intrusion so that the more a government intrudes the more people will oppose the government. One of the main roles of a government's highest leaders is to balance the government's secrecy and spying with its citizens' private interests. Government officials and decision-makers have…

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Google, strategy, and what your strategy says about you

I've read a few articles recently how people are using search engines that track you less than Google in light of the spying. I've been using DuckDuckGo for a while since I find Google so spooky. Nobody is challenging in Google's dominance, but competition is increasing. Its search results aren't as good as Google's, but I prefer it, as I'll explain. Nearly every successful company has a strategy or it will lose focus and fail. Same with people, for that matter. Whatever a company or person says, if you know their strategy you can predict their behavior. Usually if you…

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A model for one of the most valuable skills related to beliefs

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] This series covered a lot about flexibility with your beliefs -- the ability to try out believing something new and letting the new belief crowd out the old one. Doing so is hard because believing means believing something is right. If you don't get it, changing beliefs is hard because you'll think it means believing what…

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More thoughts on centralized power without accountability

Comparisons to Nazis and Hitler happen all the time, usually backfiring on the people making the comparison. Since almost no one has tried to take over the world or kill everyone they could based on religion, whomever you're comparing looks better. This comparison makes things so black-and-white you lose the ability to learn from the past. Today we know how Nazism ended, but while it developed and grew, nobody knew. When most people talk about the topic, they talk about after their power passed a point of no return. The problem with looking only there is that there was little…

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Ad hominem attacks are easy but counterproductive and best ignored

I'm following the story of the government spying more closely than most issues and writing about it here because I see it as a failure of leadership in many ways, most importantly that the system seems to be out of control with the person in charge -- the President of the United States -- exercising little accountability if not outright lying. Yesterday an opinion piece in the New York Times ignored the issues and attacked the character of the whistle-blower, using malevolent tones to insinuate problems. Today the New Yorker challenged that piece, still respecting the Times writer, as if…

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A model to find the best in someone, including yourself

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's belief helps overcome a challenge in helping someone's growth. It also helps you shine as a leader or mentor. When you lead or mentor someone or work to improve yourself, it helps to track progress, but you often can't. You can for external things, like how fast they run 100 meters, how they scored on…

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