Leading Colonels, Majors, and other Officers In Charge

I had the chance to lead a leadership workshop at the United States Army Garrison Yongsan in Seoul, South Korea. This was my first chance to work with the military, though I felt particularly motivated after lunch with Frances Hesselbein last summer, who has worked with West Point and the White House for decades and holds many there in the highest regard, and after interacting with an NYU-based project with the New York Mayor's Office of Veterans Affairs to teach entrepreneurship to returning veterans. I was gratified to see the dedication among the troops and to interact directly with the…

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Sidchas when you’re tired and exhausted? Especially!

I can't tell you how exhausted I was when I got home yesterday. Traveling meant about five hours of sleep in the forty-eight leading to last evening's sleep. Telling a client about burpees and Sidchas recently, when I mentioned doing them when tired, drunk, or otherwise discouraged, he asked, "wait, you do them then too?", implying that for a long-term activity, you don't have to be a stickler for rules every time. After all, how much does one instance matter out of many? On the contrary, the value of the combination of the activity being self-imposed, challenging, and daily arises…

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Op/Ed Friday: How every politician and nation, now matter how belligerent, justifies its attacks

No politician or nation, no matter how belligerent, considers itself the attacker---not the most authoritarian dictator any more than the most democratically elected leader. One simple statement, used by nearly every one, summarizes the trick: We will not attack first, but if attacked, we will defend ourselves. Every leader says it their own way. Once the population believes it, they can feel justified in attacking, feeling and claiming innocence. Neither population has to believe the other, only their own leader. All both leaders have to do is point out any infraction from the other side, no matter how small, to…

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The United States Constitution, leadership, and why I try to minimize my polluting

Did this clause of the Constitution confuse you when you first learned it, in particular that part about treaties: This Constitution, and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof; and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the US., shall be the supreme law of the land The part about treaties puzzled me when I first learned it. We're talking some time around junior high, so I'm drawing on distant memories, but I remember thinking that if the Constitution was about how the government worked with the people in…

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Technology comes from teams of people

Many people look to technology to solve problems. Technology has solved many problems. It helps us travel around the world, communicate with people anywhere instantly, makes amazing special effects in movies, and all that stuff that dazzles us. I think a lot of people see technology as something that sprouts out of laboratories or the minds of people so unlike them they call them geniuses and consider them superhuman. I see it differently. Technology comes from people. And almost never one person, so teams of people. The more you can manage and lead people, the more you can create technologies…

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The opposite of leading

Yesterday I asked readers for their ideas of the opposite of leadership. Christmas is probably not the best time to ask for feedback, but a reader suggested the following Reacting or doing something without awareness, like why one is really doing it and what its effects could be. Looking at one aspect of something and thinking it's the entire picture. Allowing others to confuse or intimidate me into adopting their values or giving up mine. Doing something because it's supposed to be the good or right thing to do. Not expressing oneself, not expecting others to understand what you've got…

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What is the opposite of leading?

What do you think the opposite of leading is? I think most people would reflexively say following, but since both leaders and followers are trying to achieve the same goal, I don't think they're opposites. More like complements. I have an idea or two that I think tell a lot about leadership. I'm curious what my readers might think, so before I share what I'm thinking, I invite readers to think about it and share their thoughts on what you think the opposite of leadership is and why. I bet thinking about it will help you improve your skills or…

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When someone says “America is losing ground to China or India,” watch your wallet

Politicians tell you America is "losing ground" to other countries all the time. A search on "America is losing ground to China India" returns tons of results, many fear-mongering. This language comes from a misguided belief that business and trade are zero-sum competitions, that if someone elsewhere gets a deal then you lost it. If you want votes and don't mind sowing fear, anxiety, and xenophobia, great. But people succeeding elsewhere doesn't have to mean you are losing. On the contrary, you could see people succeeding elsewhere as increased opportunity for more business and trade. In other words, people always…

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Power in playing the victim

As soon as I saw this scene in the movie Boyhood, I knew I had to post about it. Any man who grew up with a sister experienced the frustration you learn to live with of society (represented by parents in the context of a family) considering you guilty first and responsible for problems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J5sDgYpROg His sister taunts him. When the mother enters, his sister fakes tears and victimhood and their mother tells him to stop. The movie dramatizes the scene to evoke emotions more strongly, so interactions aren't so blatant, but even taking that into account, this scene hit…

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Op/Ed Friday: Acting against equality, part 2 of “Almost nobody is acting for equality, which is why we aren’t getting it”

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how almost nobody is acting for equality in "Op/Ed Friday: Almost nobody is acting for equality, which is why we aren't getting it." Many people talk about wanting equality. Many believe they are acting for it. That post describes how not many are, despite their belief. Since I write about leadership, I'm looking at the leadership results of people talking about one thing and doing another. Here is an example of a prominent figure, a former Member of Parliament of Norway, promoting inequality: "No to female conscription." In response to Norway involuntarily drafting…

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Why people like Donald Trump

One of the exercises my leadership students like most is the Authentic Voice exercise. I've written about it at least four times here, including examples from great masters of speaking in their authentic voice, like Muhammad Ali and Robin Williams. Communications skills exercises, part 10: Your Authentic Voice Your authentic voice The great masters of speaking with authentic voices Communications skills exercises, part 10b: another example of voicing your self-talk Most students in my full course are scared of the exercise before doing it but emerge transformed after a week of practicing it. They find it easier and more natural…

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A coaching client started her firm and rang the opening bell of the New York Stock Exchange

Who doesn't like good news on a holiday? A few months ago a long-term coaching client (and friend), Tina Powell, left her job to act on her dream to start her own company, based on my favorite reason to start a company: an underserved market niche. She is a financial advisor and is starting SheCapital, an automated investment platform for women. Yet more to her credit, she's starting it without just leaving her old firm. She's working with them to everyone's mutual benefit. Not long after she started her firm, to coverage in the Wall Street Journal and more, she…

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Op/Ed Friday: Almost nobody is acting for equality, which is why we aren’t getting it

If you don't act for equality, it doesn't matter how much you want it, you aren't going to get it. Almost nobody is acting for equality so we aren't getting it. Many people think they are acting to create equality, but their behavior is counterproductive to equality, despite their intent. Why do I say people aren't acting for equality? What are people doing if they aren't acting for equality? Many people belong to groups that they feel are disadvantaged. They feel they don't have the same opportunities. Or that social structures are holding them back. I should say we because…

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Learn and practice Marshall Goldsmith’s Feedforward, December 1 in Manhattan

Want to learn and practice one of the most effective leadership techniques? Then join me for a workshop, Tuesday, December 1st at 6:30pm in midtown, and get a copy of the #1 bestselling leadership book included! This is an encore workshop from attendee enthusiasm at the last one. From the announcement from the Columbia Business School Alumni Club (everyone is welcome): The Workshop Committee of the Columbia Business School Alumni Club invites you to a workshop on Marshall Goldsmith’s FEEDFORWARD hosted by Joshua Spodek, PhD MBA ’06 including a copy of his #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal…

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Failure is how you feel about your results

I simplify complex or mysterious terms to make them easy to understand and act on. The professional and personal development fields seem to prefer click-bait titles---what sells over what works. Talk about failure and success is filled with clichés ("It's the journey, not the destination," "everything happens for a reason") and grandstanding ("fail early and often," "I failed many times before succeeding") that I haven't found helpful for someone facing a challenge and fearing failing. Successful people tend to say they failed on the way to success and now welcome failure, or even look forward to it, but what they…

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Why leadership and entrepreneurship training can learn from acting training

Longtime readers know a big inspiration for how I teach leadership and entrepreneurship is how we teach acting, based on the self-awareness, emotional expression, mutual support, and ability to perform I see in great actors. Leaders and entrepreneurs can use many of the same skills, and much of my teaching practice involves using what works in teaching acting for teaching leadership and entrepreneurship, with appropriate changes. To learn the training in more depth, I trained in one style of acting, called Meisner Technique after its originator, Sandy Meisner, and was rereading a book by the guy who founded the school…

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Abraham Lincoln and the unintended side-effects of leading through authority

Using authority to lead may achieve your goal but it creates unintended side-effects, nearly always counter to your goals. To you personally too. This scene in Lincoln illustrates how the side-effects can last centuries. I long wondered why people resist accepting the Civil War. Why wouldn't they celebrate ending slavery? When you motivate someone through authority, you are making them do something they don't want to do. You're threatening a worse outcome if they don't do it---firing, a bad grade, a spanking, jail, garnishing wages, etc---implying that being with you can be even worse. What are you presenting about yourself?…

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Confidence and pride in your body feels better than chocolate tastes

Leading others begins with leading yourself. Part of my daily workouts is to stretch my hamstrings by sitting with my legs straight in front of me, like this: How do you feel about your abdomen when you crunch forward like this? Does it show fat that you prefer people not see? Do you look flabby? Do you avoid such positions for that reason? I noticed that my entire life I've felt ashamed of my abdomen, its lack of muscle tone, and the layer of fat that stood out when crunched forward, like in that position. Like many people, I hid…

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Two thousand posts!

You are reading my two-thousandth blog post. Here's the list of all of them. I've posted daily since January 2011, plus twice daily around my North Korea trips since that content seemed different. Why? I write for two main reasons, one related to content, the other to process. The content reason is that writing helps me develop thoughts and ideas. When I started I thought I'd run out of ideas. Soon after, I found myself coming up with new ideas faster than I could write them. Many readers tell me they find things here they don't find anywhere else. I…

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Are U.S. universities today like U.S. automakers in the 70s and 80s?

The more I work in American universities, the more I see their decision-making and leadership behind the scenes. The more I learn about student-focused project-based learning connecting students' lives to what the schools are trying to teach and move away from more abstract academic approaches, the more I see alternatives to the education I got that I think serve students' and society's interests more. I care about students in schools like I care about customers in businesses: I view their needs and interests as paramount for guiding the organizations' direction. Faculty matter, as do employees, the community, and others, but…

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Seeing my inspiration, Inside The Actors Studio, live

If you've talked to me in the past few years, you've heard how watching Inside The Actors Studio inspired me to learn how actors came to excel so much at skills leaders in other areas of life work hard to achieve but rarely do. On top of that, many great actors on the show dropped out, were kicked out, or otherwise didn't finish much school. Meanwhile, graduates of Ivy League business schools who studied leadership at the pinnacle of our educational system didn't measure up. The schools didn't even teach whatever the actors learned. My curiosity led me to discover…

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The problem with “We need more women leaders / in tech / in STEM fields / etc”

Teams with members with diverse experience and skills outperform teams without diversity, as I understand research shows. My experience is consistent with that view. I am a huge fan of diversity, and, for that matter, equality. Many people promote having more women in areas where there are fewer---in leadership, in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM), in college, and so on. Searching on the topic on the web shows plenty of results. The internet's preference for promoting women in leadership becomes more stark when you search on needing more men leaders, where the top seven links promote women, not men,…

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If you want your car to run better, learn about engines and brake systems, not car noises. If you want to lead, learn about emotions and motivations, not how people annoy you

Nearly everyone I coach wants help handling someone difficult, usually a boss, someone who reports to them, or spouse. When I ask my client why the difficult person behaves how they do, they answer how everyone does: they tell me how the person annoys them. But describing their behavior doesn't say why they do it. What they do is the result of their motivation. It's like describing the noise a car that needs repair makes. If you have a problem with someone, you want to change something---their behavior, your reaction, or both, but always emotions. If you want to influence…

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Everyone is positive (from their perspective)

I heard yet another person saying "I don't have time for negative people. I'm a positive person. I can't let them bring me down." Oh, how perfect they sound! High and mighty! He blithely and ironically didn't notice the negative start to what he said, "I don't have time for..." Sometimes they'll outright say so-and-so is a negative person. People who talk about others being negative are judging others by their values---the opposite of compassion, empathy, and understanding. To make themselves look better at others' expense, no less. People may disagree with you and negate your beliefs, but that doesn't…

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What about Tiger Woods? Why was he pilloried?

After writing about bad boys, success, and discipline yesterday, you might ask, "What about Tiger Woods? Why was he pilloried? He is full of discipline. Why didn't society accept of him something many successful athletes do?" I'm no expert on public relations, but I see two main issues. First, the lesser issue. He doesn't have a bad boy reputation. His is clean cut and respectful, or looks that way to me. Charles Barkley throwing a guy through a bar window fits within his image as a physical player. By the time he did it, he had already done many similar…

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