What do you think when someone acts not how you want

How do you think when someone acts unexpectedly, especially a way you don't like. That result is usually the opposite of leadership, where you want people behaving the way you lead them. I used to think something like They did something wrong. Why would they do that?!? What's their problem? I know how to do this right. I have to change them. What should I do to get them to behave how I want? I still think that way sometimes, I guess out of habit more than effectiveness because I don't find it effective at influencing people to follow my…

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My next Leadership Workshop, Sunday March 1

My next seminar is March 1, two weeks from yesterday! It's with the Columbia Business School Alumni Club, but it's open to everyone. That means two things. First, you save money because they capped the price below recent seminars. Second, you get phenomenal classmates. Columbia alumni are knowledgeable but inquisitive, experienced yet curious, accomplished yet humble. In other words, they help everyone learn and perform at their best. Here's the announcement. Click here to register! Workshop: How to lead people so they want you to lead them again Effective leaders motivate people from the inside – so people they lead…

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Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours

[EDIT February 2020: I gathered, edited, and compiled all the posts I listed below into my book ReModel, which I recommend if you prefer a more curated experience with less clicking. Either way, I recommend doing the exercise. It gives a new way of seeing the world that costs nothing and takes little time.] This series covers my doing my Write Your Beliefs exercise, which I've found one of the more valuable self-awareness exercises that my clients, my students, and I have done. It builds on the Inner Monologue exercise, which I also call "The most effective self-awareness exercise I…

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Fundamentals and technique: what you do when you don’t know what to do

A professor / actor I'm working with described a harrowing experience that illustrates the value of fundamentals and technique. He told me he forgot his line on a Broadway stage in front of around 500 to 1,000 people. Some paid hundreds of dollars for their seats and want a professional performance. What do you do if you forget your lines on stage? There's a fundamental technique a lot of actors start training early with called the repetition exercise where you repeat the same words back and forth, learning to pay attention to things other than words and react. I don't…

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To start a habit, focus on emotions

Different people suggest starting habits different ways. Some say to start with behavior, like setting a New Year's resolution or doing it every day for a month. Others suggest starting by changing your environment, like by putting a note on your computer monitor or daily schedule, wearing a device that measures your exercise, or joining a web page that tracks and reminds you. That's all low-level tactics. Tactics, no matter how effective, don't work if the high-level strategy doesn't work. Effective strategy comes from knowing how the new habit will affect your life. What is its meaning, value, importance, and…

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Influence and persuasion class starts Saturday

This Saturday begins my class at General Assembly on influence and persuasion. Register here We call the class "Entrepreneurial Sales" because it teaches entrepreneurial skills and uses a model of selling for its structure, but it's about broader concepts of influence, persuasion, value, and building relationships based on understanding others' needs. I used to think sales was part of the business other people did---something low-level that used pressure and made people feel bad, like selling used cars or souvenirs in tourist traps. Boy was I wrong! Sales is also Getting hired (selling your labor) Hiring people (selling your company's culture)…

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Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview!

Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. EDIT: Here is a video version of the interview highlights that's only in audio below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0ODcbJarCM Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5--8-minute segments: Part 1,…

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Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 9/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I'll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

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Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 8/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 8/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 7/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 7/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 6/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 6/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 5/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

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Malcolm X speaking

This year for Martin Luther King day I listened to two recordings of Malcolm X speaking, posted by WNYC in "Remembering Malcolm X: Rare Interviews and Audio." I recommend listening. People accuse him of racism and inciting violence, but to hear him speak and to hear people who knew him speak about him, it's hard not to feel those critics missed the essence of what he said, and that they neglected to criticize the people and institutions he criticized, which were, and remain, racist and violent. He spoke so clearly and plainly about subjects so few people do, I can't…

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Prince, Oscars, Olympians, and one of the world’s greatest leaders

Last night I went to a release of my friends' sunglasses launch event. They're Coco and Breezy and you can almost see us meeting for the first time here and here. They're famous and becoming more so all the time. They designed the sunglasses Prince is wearing on his recent album: and that he wore on Saturday Night Live: Here I am showing off the sunglasses that aren't for sale yet, with one of the designers, ahead of the fashion curve. Yes, I'm bragging. That's why I'm putting up an extra post today. If it were just for the sunglasses…

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Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 4/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 4/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 3/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I’ll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 3/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 2/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I'll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 2/9

Listen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 1/9

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I'll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

Continue ReadingListen to the results of my online leadership course: the full interview, part 1/9

Highlights from interviewing the first student of my new online leadership course

[Another post superseded this one by posting the full interview and the highlights. I'll copy that post here: Over the past six months I created an online leadership course, The Fundamentals of Leadership. I interviewed a student who took it. Listen to the interview highlights and full course. If you want to learn to lead yourself or others better, or to improve your life, listen to the interview and see if it fits your interests. Click here for the interview highlights (about ten minutes) Click here for the full interview (about an hour) Here it is in nine 5–8-minute segments:…

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Op/Ed Fridays: Serpico on cops today

News of shootings, grand juries, protests, and more involving race, class, and gender are making front-page news like they haven't in decades. I try to stick to posting original perspectives and ideas, but sometimes I find something relevant I feel compelled to link to. Frank Serpico, the real-life cop Al Pacino played in the movie Serpico, wrote a piece "The Police Are Still Out of Control, I should know," I found relevant from someone with a valuable, unique, and credible perspective. He had the integrity to try to reform the corruption in a system he cared about, taking a bullet…

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Integrity in successful leaders: Stella Adler scrubbed the floor

This post follows up, "Integrity in successful leaders: Gandhi cleaned toilets," on integrity and sticking with your values. I came across the anecdote below about Stella Adler from a student of hers. Adler was one of the great acting teachers of the twentieth century. According to Wikipedia she taught Marlon Brando, Judy Garland, Elizabeth Taylor, Dolores del Río, Lena Horne, Robert De Niro, Elaine Stritch, Martin Sheen, Manu Tupou, Harvey Keitel, Melanie Griffith, Peter Bogdanovich and Warren Beatty, among others. That's quite a list! She was like royalty in the acting world, coming from a family filled with other great…

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The overeager salesperson and why just understanding someone can undermine you leading them

Imagine you want a product and you know a store that sells it. You go to the store. Now imagine the moment you walk in, a salesperson walks up to you with the product you want---the same brand, model, color, and everything, even at a great price---and says, "I know what you want. Here's what you're looking for." It would make you suspicious, wouldn't it? Despite them offering what you wanted, you'd feel motivated to wonder how they knew and to look for reasons not to buy it, the opposite of their interest. You might not even buy it. Since…

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I don’t remember feeling this much passion for a project since co-founding my first company in the late 90s

I recently wrote how I finished recording the audio for the online leadership course I'm creating. I also posted about the leadership course I start teaching at NYU in a couple weeks. Both courses put into practice material that I've compiled for years, maybe a decade or so. This week I'll start posting the interview I did with Chris, the other guy in the recording for the online course. I played it for a couple friends in person and they described Chris's results as spine-tingling, based on his progress. I don't remember feeling this much passion for a project since…

Continue ReadingI don’t remember feeling this much passion for a project since co-founding my first company in the late 90s

The value of technique in leadership

An actor told me about a time he forgot his line on Broadway in front of about a thousand people, some who paid hundreds of dollars for their seats. He was in his forties and had acted for decades. Still, sometimes you forget your lines. What do you do when a thousand people are watching you and you don't know what to say? Most of us have faced not knowing what to say or do, though usually only in front of one or two people, which is more than enough to paralyze us with anxiety. Actors know about a technique…

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My next seminar, January 12 at The Yard in NYC!

My next leadership seminar will be January 12 at The Yard, a premier office space and coworking community designed to support business growth whose environment promotes creativity, collaboration, and connections. Perfect for my seminar! If you've thought about attending one of my seminars, this will be a great chance in a beautiful space, conveniently located. Click here for testimonials.   HOW TO LEAD PEOPLE ...so they want you to lead them again. ~ Leadership Workshop ~ Click here to register Why you should attend You’ve ascended to a position of leadership, but how can you ensure that the people you…

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